Fatherly Motivation

“YES!” 

I had just poked the ball past the goalie and scored my second goal in the opening game of my high school senior soccer season. Usually I don’t hear individual spectators in the heat of the moment, but I could tell my dad had just gotten to the game and his exclamation indicated how excited he was that he was able to see me score. Cheering is something that a sports player gets accustomed to when they do something well, but looking back, this one-word celebration meant more to me than any of the collective cheers I had heard in my career. I didn’t know how much it would mean, though, until much later.

Fast forward to Senior Night of my last season of college soccer. A collective roar went up from the stands as I scored my first goal of the season, but I felt empty. My whole family had traveled down to see the game, including my newborn nephew, but there was one person missing: my dad. He had a conference in Virginia that weekend, but had gone out of his way to fly up to see the first half of my soccer game. Unfortunately, I scored 5 minutes into the second half. I had difficulty scoring in college (which is another story for another time), and my dad never actually managed to see me score in my entire collegiate career. Senior Night was the last game my family would be able to see that season.

Almost my entire family had seen this goal, and yet I felt totally defeated. Why did it matter so much to me that my dad didn’t get to see me score? To be honest, I don’t know entirely. Middle child syndrome, an achievement orientation, and high competitive drive are all factors that could play into this situation, but I believe the biggest influencer was my knowledge of my dad’s love for me. Soccer was never a big deal in my family growing up, but as soon as I decided I loved soccer and wanted to invest more into it, my dad sought to learn as much as he could so he could support me. When I found my favorite English Soccer team, so did he. When I signed up for a club team that required travel, he drove me every weekend. Finally, when I got recognized for my contribution and time on my college team, guess who flew hundreds of miles so he could be there for me, only to fly back that same day?

I might never know fully why it meant so much to me to score for my dad, but my best guess is that soccer was one of the clearest ways I could understand my dad’s love for me. There is something about knowing that a guy born in the football town of Canton, Ohio could care less about soccer, but became one of the sport’s biggest fans so he could support his son. Parents show their love for their kids in so many ways, but soccer was one of the clearest ways I knew my dad loved me. I may never be able to score a goal for my dad, but because of soccer I can more fully understand how loved I truly am.